I cannot go a day without hearing music, without singing! I sing in the car. I sing in the kitchen. I sing in the shower! (What a cliche'!)
I used to be a professional folk singer. I had brochures, and head shots, and a web site. I even went to Nashville to record an album of original songs. I traveled up and down the Eastern Seaboard to different festivals and really enjoyed it. I made some awesome friends!
But then in the fall of 2002 I got sick. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease in March of 03.
And I was sick for four years.
During my convalescence I learned some hard things about myself. Like, maybe my walk with God wasn't really as good as I thought. And this question presented itself;
Am I following the Lord... or am I asking the Lord to follow me?
The first day I thought about it, it was like a thunderbolt had struck! All those years of me traveling in humanist circles, pretending that shining my light was enough....that I didn't need to present myself as particularly "Christian", that by carrying Christ with me people would automatically know that I was a Christian.
I was going blithely (and blindly) on my way, asking (or rather expecting) that Jesus was happy that I asked him to come along. What pride!!
And the thing is, as I thought about it more and more, the Lord revealed to me that of all those thousands of people at all those festivals and house concerts and fundraisers, etc, the majority of the time, I was the only Christian I knew about. There was no one else who I knew who shared my faith.
This was an awesome blow to me. And it really humbled me. How could I have blinded myself like that?
The next step was foregoing the music. I did not perform, even after I was well. I did not feel that that was what God wanted me to do. I was to wait on him, in faith, that he would reveal to me the right time. And last year I was asked to sing for my sister's art forum group. After much prayer I said yes. And really struggled with that decission. But I made sure that the folks there knew about my faith. I was no longer concerned about "fitting in".
Two weeks ago I was approached by a friend from Scotland who will be performing here in the spring. He reiterated that he thought I should out there sharing my gift. And for the first time, maybe in years, I felt the Lord say, "OK, go."
THE VERY NEXT DAY.... I received a phone call from the president of the American Irish Club asking if I would come in March and do a program of Irish songs for them. I said yes right away! And, on top of that, I got to witness to her about how the Lord healed me!
Last week I was asked, by a friend, to participate in a fund raiser for a dear friend with cancer. And I said, "you bet!"
But I will no longer be content to just bring Jesus with me. I'll be making pretty sure that I'm going with his permission and that I am presenting myself as his servant.
How awesome is God???
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